Now that I’m dead, I want to tell you a few things.

To Everyone:

When you grow up in fear and the people you trust (are actually telling you lies – about the mental abuse and violence you see) – saying everyone has their own family problems and this is just our family problem. (No tell someone you trust at school or a doctor or clergy at church) – Don’t trust your family when they tell you to be quiet (even though the police is at your house once a month to arrest your dad for his violence because of mental health issues) = nobody cared to check on the youngest daughter who was only four years old to witness this violence and never felt safe (This daughter grew up with severe depression/anxiety problems — that accelerated her aging and now at the age of fourty her life is over – and she is buried in her grave (because of circumstances beyond her control) She should have gotten taken out of the house for her safe being.

To my son (who was kidnapped by his father and then died over in the Middle east because of his father.)

My biggest regret is that when you feel the father of the child might take the child – kidnap him (put a hold on the passport) go to court and get the state department involved early. Also because of the abuse stated above I picked an abusive person to have a child with = my mistake. The stress of this kidnapping has taken a toll on my soul — so yes that is why I am buried in this grave now.. No one can underestimate a love that a mother has for her own child (who has died before her — and she blames herself for his death)

I know my topics are very serious, but they are very true.